The Gift of Al

On Saturday, I spoke at the memorial service for Allen R. Krueger in Oberlin, Ohio. Al was married to my mother's sister, Aunt Sue. It was a later marriage for both of them, so it was not really an issue that they were actually first cousins - and it made for an interesting and often very lovely interweaving of families. I was touched and honored that Al's daughters (my second cousins) asked me to speak at the service.

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I have not known Al all my life, as many of you have. But I know the many gifts he brought to my beloved Aunt Sue. His love, of course, which we could all see. His company and the many experiences they shared with so much joy and appreciation. The art and opera, the walking trips, travel around the world, the time with family.

Many of Al's gifts were things I know my aunt wanted very deeply. Some things maybe she didn't want quite so much - but with someone like Al, you have to take it all, and it all is a gift.

Al's gift to me above all was his welcome, in the warm and beautiful home he and Sue made together. He also brought my daughter Laura and me the gift of extending our family. Cousins we we barely knew we had are now friends.

And we have objects large and small in our home that he made for us. The largest is our kitchen pantry, an open shelving unit with pullout drawers and adjustable shelves that he designed especially for us. He built it to fit in a particular spot in the apartment that Laura and I moved into when I separated from my ex-husband. Aunt Sue brought it to Oak Park in her daughter Kathy's mini-van. We unloaded it and bolted it together, and it was perfect. It was Al's blessing for the heart of our new home. And it is a marvel of design and function.

So Al, thank you for all the marvels. We will miss you, and it will be our joy to remember you.