calm

"Least said, soonest mended," said Ma. This is my favorite folk proverb from the Little House on the Prairie books. It's interesting how the popular wisdom of my early life, the too-simple idea that it's important to talk things out, to speak your mind, to verbalize the garbage that the hamster spins round and round on the wheel in your head, is fading from popularity. Lately one thing I particularly like about myself is that I usually know when to shut up.

My angry student calmed down and so did I. I trust that he realized his anger was out of proportion or at least that it was not constructive and would not get him what he wanted. I tend to assume this kind of reflective capacity in others, since I have cultivated it in myself. This might be naive of me... but I hope not in this case. This particular students is in his late 30s, and he is a parent, and smart enough to have put himself in college. He is also a coach. If he doesn't have this kind of reflective capacity, then his problems go way beyond his developmental English class.

So we had a very constructive mid-term conference. Neither of us mentioned the previous episode, and we moved forward. Had either of us brought it up, we would have remained stuck in it, one or both of us either aggressive or defensive or both. By getting over it, and by not mentioning it, we were both grownups. And what a relief not to have to discuss it... leave that stupid hamster alone.

Thanks, Ma Ingalls. Off the hook, and all for the best.