"I don't cook - I purchase."

This is what I said to the dinner coordinator Thursday night when I delivered about 40 servings of fresh fruit to Laura's swim meet for the girls' dinner. I had washed all the grapes and apples, cut the grapes into bunches, and cut the bananas in half. All organic, all neatly presented in a couple of cartons that no one had to return to me - simplify, simplify. Next week I am bringing "salad" - which will consist of bags of salad greens, bags of prepped carrots, bottles of salad dressing, and perhaps one or two other toppings that require only the opening of a package.

I used to cook, and I'm not a particularly bad cook, and I even enjoy cooking when there is a little time for it. When I lived in a household with two adults, and there was more than one driver, more than one shopper, more than one cook, and more than one child supervisor, cooking seemed like a good idea. It made economic sense, and even though we both were busy working people, the fact that there were two of us made a difference, and we probably cooked dinner three or four nights a week.

But for over six years now, there's only one of me. Now I do all the driving, all the shopping, all the homework supervision, all the scheduling. I pay all the bills. I go to Curriculum Night and teacher conferences and sign permission slips and call the attendance office. I pack breakfasts, lunches, and snacks for days when Laura will be at school from 6am to 6pm with two swim practices. I arrange dentist and doctor and orthodontist and acupuncturist appointments. I do the "volunteer" work for church and school. I clean our apartment, take care of our cats, do laundry. I make lists. I remind Laura to do things and take stuff and take care of things. Sometimes I hound her a little. Sometimes she has to hound me a little, like reminding me over and over that her bathtub was clogged. It was hard to imagine how to find time to get someone in here to fix it. I found a lovely handyman who would come on Saturday morning, what a blessing.

Every once in a while something catches me up and I notice how amazing this really is. I made a homemade dinner one night this week, and we really enjoyed it. It may be a month before I make another one. But that's all right. When I say, "I don't cook - I purchase," I say it with happiness and without guilt, because I am loving my full and wonderful life. Laura won't be here very much longer, and she doesn't like my cooking all that much anyway! Our apartment, halfway between Penny's Noodles and Trader Joe's . . . well - as the saying goes, "there must be a reason." Or, as Laura and her friends say, "It's all good." Yes. It is.