Mom to Laura

Questions to ask yourself when considering whether a relationship is a good one to be in / stay in:

Do you like the person you show up as, when you're together? Do you feel clear in who you are when you are with her? Does she treat you like you are the kind of person you want to be? Does she treat you like you are her toy? Does she make threats or impose conditions? Does it feel like she wants to control you?

How well does she take care of herself? Does she eat and sleep enough? Does she show consideration for her family and communicate well with them? Does she participate in the give-and-take of healthy family life? Does she take responsibility for herself, her well-being, her choices, her future? Does she have worthy goals for her life? Is she making good plans? Is she making good decisions?

Does she have other good relationships with friends her own age and with adults who can mentor her? Does she listen to and act on wise advice from peers and mentors? Does she seek out help when she needs it, and does she seek help from the right kinds of people, depending on the kind of help she needs?

Does she know herself well, see herself clearly, see how others see her? Can she see other people's points of view, and accept them if they are different from her own? Can she learn from other people's points of view? Can she learn from you? Can you learn from her?

What do you like (and not like) about her? Can you grow as a person while you are part of this relationship? Does it bring out the best in you? What does she contribute to you? In the long run, will you be a better, happier person if you stay in this relationship?